Journaling for clarity is one of my favorite things to do. Somewhere along the line, I realized the reason I enjoy it so much is because whenever I do it, I feel better and I gain clarity. Because it has benefited me so much over the last 20 years, I would like to share this tool with you.
There are many reasons to journal, of course, but one of the best is to gain clarity. Read on to discover what this means, why it is important and how to do it.
Why is journaling for clarity important
The goal of journaling for clarity is to replace confused emotions and thoughts with clarity of emotion and thought, including beliefs and values.
Your beliefs are the thoughts you repeatedly think and how you think the world works. They ultimately control how you feel and what actions you take.
Your values are what’s important to you and can often be placed on a spectrum. Values sometimes compete with each other. Conflicting values can be a big source of confusion and frustration.
Where confusion is like an invisible force holding you back, clarity is like a powerful tailwind pushing you forward and clearing the fog in front of you. Clarity brings more self-awareness, greater motivation and ultimately inspired action toward your goals and dreams.
When you are confused, it’s harder to be motivated. It’s harder to know what the next step is. Confusion is often the result of conflicting emotions and conflicting thoughts.
Clarity is the opposite of confusion. Gaining clarity creates alignment, where everything works together, everything flows in the same direction. You become aware of hidden beliefs and values. You discover you are angry but also afraid.
Once aware, you gain control. You can challenge beliefs, re-prioritize values, dig deeper into the source of emotions. You can create a situation where beliefs and values no longer oppose each other. With this alignment, the next step becomes clear and the motivation to take the next step more powerful.
How frequently to journal for clarity
You can journal every day if it helps. It’s a good way to start your day if you feel unsure about what to focus on that day or you don’t know next steps. Another reason to start your day with journaling is if you wake in the middle of the night with thoughts that then keep you awake. Otherwise, it might make more sense to journal when you feel the need, when you have symptoms of confusion.
Symptoms of confusion:
- Inaction
- Procrastination
- Not feeling good emotionally (which can make you not feel good physically)
- Not knowing why you don’t feel good
Your signal to journal for clarity is when you have these symptoms of confusion.
How to journal for clarity
Journaling medium
The best advice here: do what works for you. It’s not one size fits all. You may hand write in a paper notebook, type on a desktop or laptop or use a notes app on your mobile device. One nice thing about using an app is that you may be able to type faster than you can hand write. If the thoughts are flowing, you want to be able to keep up. Another advantage to using an app is that you can password-protect it. If you feel secure that no one will be able to read your journal, you can be totally honest, which is critically important.
You don’t have to use the same method every time. However, it is a good idea to keep your journal in one place in case you ever want to look back. It can be fun to look back and see what you have learned and how far you have come. It’s good to celebrate your successes!
Journaling for clarity prompts
Name the emotion or emotions you feel.
For example, you might think, I don’t feel really good right now. I feel irritated or frustrated or confused. I’m not really sure why or what happened. That’s the time to sit down and identify the emotions you are feeling. Is there anger? Sadness?
When did the emotion start? Did it start days ago, weeks ago, an hour ago?
Did something happen?
Was it an interaction with someone else which did not go well? Was it that you went out in public, perhaps shopping or to a social event, and you feel bad after doing that? Or maybe you simply became aware of new information which created negative emotions in you. Think back to when your negative emotion or emotions arose and identify the circumstances. Then, go into those circumstances. Keep asking what and why until you get answers. This is how you get insights into the origins of your negative feelings.
Is a value being violated?
Another thing to consider when feeling confused or frustrated is the idea that one of your key values is being violated. For instance, you could value financial security, alone time, time with friends, travel and exploration, being in a romantic relationship, having a nice car, living frugally, gourmet dining, being a good parent, having the latest gadget, etc. Big values include freedom, truth, love, justice and peace.
Example: Freedom
Perhaps something repeatedly restricts your freedom— to speak the truth, to do with your time as you wish, to pursue your goals, to purchase certain material things or have certain experiences. Maybe someone or something is an obstacle to your freedom. Maybe you restrict your own freedom by adhering to habits of action or habits of thought. Until you dig deep through a process such as journaling for clarity, you may be unaware of these externally and internally imposed limitations.
Example: Being a good person
For example, you might do things not for yourself, but for others, because you care a lot about being a good person. Maybe you are driven by fear, obligation or guilt. What you might realize through journaling is that you wear yourself out and feel resentful because others don’t appreciate all you do for them.
In this example, ask yourself what would happen if you stopped doing so much for others. Where did you learn the habit? It must have served you at some point, but now it seems to hinder you.
Example: acquiring expensive things
Or maybe you acquire expensive things because you feel the need to impress people. You might realize all these expensive things don’t make you happy for very long or that impressing people means you are not being true to yourself, or not pursuing the things most important to you.
In this example, ask yourself what would happen if you stopped acquiring expensive things. What’s the risk if you stop? And what do you stand to gain? Could you leave a high-paying job you don’t like that creates too much stress? How would changing careers and salary affect your relationships with parents, siblings, friends, or acquaintances on social media?
Journaling for clarity around values helps you pause and say, this is what’s really important to me, this is what I want more of, and this is what I want less of, this is who I want to be. Home, car, clothing, dining, travel and leisure activities, etc.
Building awareness, gaining insight, taking action
As you answer these questions, you may discover something about yourself you don’t like, but stick with it.
You may also discover a pattern, where certain situations or certain people trigger negative emotions. Patterns offer an even greater possibility of breakthrough to clarity.
Once you gain insights and build awareness as to why you’re feeling a certain way, then you can take steps to make yourself feel better. Sometimes just journaling about it and knowing why you feel bad is enough to make you feel better. But sometimes you realize you need to do something differently going forward. This could be as simple as reframing the way you look at a situation. Or it might involve changing the way you interact with the situation. It may be time for a reset.
Examples of things to journal about
Relationships
Maybe you need to change the way you interact with a certain person. Maybe you have a pattern of interacting that is unhealthy for you and either you need to not spend as much time around this person or maybe you just need to hit the reset button on how you interact with this person.
For example, what would happen if a person who contacts you all the time with complaints and negative remarks got a different response from you?
Could you let that text sit out there for an hour or so before you respond? If you feel a resistance to that, and you feel that you must respond right away, then ask yourself, why do I feel that way?
What does that mean about me if I don’t respond to this text right away? Does it mean I’m a bad person? Or not caring? Or not responsive?
If you think any of these things are true, I encourage you to question the validity of this thinking.
For ideas on how to set the reset button on relationships, stay tuned for a future post on the topic.
Places
Maybe it was a certain place that makes you feel a certain way. Maybe going to the mall makes you feel bad because of noxious smells, noise, bad feelings around spending money or other negative associations.
Perhaps it’s because of the way strangers interact with you with their body language, facial expressions or eye contact. Some of us are more sensitive to interactions with strangers than others. Whatever comes up, write it down. Honor your thoughts because they are what’s true for you.
You may get enough relief from simply identifying the source of your agitation, so no further action is needed. If not, you could journal about what you could do differently going forward. Maybe going forward, you decide you won’t go to the mall unless absolutely necessary. Perhaps online shopping would work better.
Feelings and beliefs about money
Another example might be whenever you have to spend money on something. Perhaps you have fears that if you spend this money, you won’t have enough money left over for something else. Or you feel you don’t deserve to spend the money, and if you do, that means you are selfish and it will cause you to feel guilty.
There could be a factual basis for your feelings. You could have a spending problem. It’s also possible you have limiting beliefs around money that are not based in fact. Many of us adopted the beliefs our parents had, and these beliefs may have come down from our grandparents or great-grandparents. Penny pinching during the Depression was a necessity for survival. But at a certain point, this money habit could very well have become a relic that actually hinders optimal living.
One thing to keep in mind is that if you keep doing the same things you’ve always done, you will keep getting the same results, all other things being equal. If you are chronically unhappy with certain situations or relationships in your life, that represents an opportunity to do something different. It’s worth it to risk doing things differently. You don’t have to make a dramatic change; you can start small.
How to know when your journaling for clarity is complete
You will know you’ve journaled enough when you have any of these physical symptoms of relief:
You may:
- breathe in deeply.
- breathe out deeply.
- yawn or sigh.
- feel your body relax, a sense of calm.
- smile.
You will also know you’ve journaled enough when your thinking has changed such that you have insights which reveal:
- What’s really bothering you.
- What’s really important to you.
- What you can do to get around or through obstacles.
- How you can move closer to goals.
- How you can live in greater alignment with your values.
Ultimately, you stop feeling stuck. Instead, you are inspired to take action.
The key to effective journaling for clarity
In a word, TRUTH.
Tell the truth. No one is going to read your journal but you. If you are worried about that, create an electronic document and password-protect it.
If you are not honest, you are probably wasting your time.